I used to fear ballads,
for they stirred emotions too deep in me.
I used to fear dramas,
for I had no reign over my tears.
You know, when I was in my twenties, life felt like a constant rap battle—like I always had a chip on my shoulder. I thought I needed to prove I deserved love, appreciation, and recognition. I believed being warm was undesirable, and being vulnerable was cringy. I looked outward, benchmarking myself against others, convinced I should strive to be like them. I saw everything wrong with me, chasing after things and people who seemed to possess what I lacked, hoping they could fill the void inside of me.
But it didn’t work. In fact, it backfired.
It didn’t make me feel more worthy of love; it made me realize how much I disliked myself when I disowned my core values just to be accepted. Only when I returned to my essence—letting it guide me instead of seeking external validation—did everything else start to fall into place. The burning desire to be seen and understood faded, not because I no longer needed it, but because I finally learned to give it to myself.
Sometimes, the lesson is learning how to avoid unnecessary crises. Sometimes, the lesson is learning to embrace them with grace.
Sometimes, we can’t skip a stage to appreciate what comes next. Sometimes, we’re asked to sit with our own tug-of-war to truly understand the value of inner peace.
Life will always have its ebbs and flows. But as I let myself soften, I started to see the world through gentler eyes. It’s not that life suddenly became kinder—it’s because I became kinder to myself.
There’s beauty in roughness and strength in softness.
If you’re going to rap, rap well. But if you’re going to sing a ballad, unarm your armor and let your heart move like the dancer to your song. Instead of avoiding your insecurities, take them by the hand and sway with them. Let the chip on your shoulder fall away.
l can’t guarantee that life will always be full of rainbows and roses—just like ballads can be both melancholy and joyful. But I can guarantee you this: when you embrace your essence with love, you’ll effortlessly attract people who love you for who you are. And you’ll feel free ✨
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